Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Talking to the same person twice, and lessons from Before Midnight, Part 3.

Earlier this evening, I was actually carrying on conversations with two good friends of mine at the same time -- one of them via BBM and one of them via online messaging.

Uncannily, both have exactly the same cutting, dry wit and sarcastic humor.

They also live in the same neighborhood and have lots of other things in common. They're both great fun, though, once you get used to the acid.


I'd always known they had a similar kind of humor, as this is why I get along with both of them.

But never was it more apparent than this evening, when I was talking to both of them simultaneously. Although the topics were different, it was like talking to the same person twice.

How eerie is that?


It must have been too much of a dosage for me, as well.

I said goodbye to Friend A online first as I had to jump into my car and head to Greenbelt 3 for the premiere of the movie Before Midnight, Part 3.

But Friend B and I continued conversing awhile longer on BBM while I was in the car.

We'd been trading funny barbs with a slight edge here and there all afternoon -- and today in particular, I must've thrown him a couple of daggers with too much truth in them, because he ended today's discussion with the following message: "You're in a strange mood today."

I didn't really think so, but perhaps the double dose of sarcastic wit and cutting humor put me in a certain frame of mind.


Then I watched the movie Before Midnight, Part 3. This is showing all over the city from tomorrow.

It was a very painfully real movie about relationships, growing old, trying to be happy, and having to live with compromises and decisions.

The bottom line is that people in any relationship will eventually get on each other's nerves because of conflicts and differences, and how each person handles these determines the outcome.

The willingness of each person to work through these issues make or break the relationship. Some people choose to work at it while others give up.

There's no right answer, just the most appropriate one for the person in question at that moment.


In a way, it's not an easy movie to watch, but it's very captivating, if you're into philosophical movies.

Interestingly, so much of it was full of sarcastic wit and cutting humor once again, as the man and woman in the movie traded barbs all night.

It was really a movie about a conversation.

This made me feel like I was in part 3 of my own day today as well, watching a replay of sarcastic wit and cutting humor I'd had to give-and-take this evening.

The takeaway from this genuinely interesting and thought-provoking movie?

For one thing, seeing the two main characters fight all the time from a Big Picture angle made me realize just how inconsequential the little things in our lives are.

We so often get into arguments and risk relationships over things that don't really matter in the end.

Everyone basically wants to be happy. It's the different interpretations of happiness that become choking points in relationships.

Lots of people approach relationships from a win-or-lose angle. 

However, in reality, there are only two winners or two losers in a real relationship, so there's no need to make sure you always have the upper hand. It's better to ensure that you are both in a winning relationship rather than to ensure that you are the winner.

I stress the word "real" here because there are also such things as fake relationships. In fake relationships or early stages of a real relationship, everything is a game and so someone does want or need to be a winner.

No one's perfect. 

But if there's a good person out there who you like, and who's willing to commit to working out a relationship with you, you shouldn't lose sight of the value of this commitment and let the little things get between you.

Discussion, communication and forgiveness are so important in a relationship.


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