Monday, February 11, 2013

How to "magnify" a guy, and sweetness and hope for lunch

PS: The following message was posted on Facebook last night from Colombo airport, on the way home to Manila, by one of our dear readers and friends on a TRAVELIFE with us to Sri Lanka



"Thank you so much Travelife Magazine for an absolutely wonderful and memorable trip to Sri Lanka. Can't wait to sign up for the next one."

As you can imagine, this so made our day...

ENLIGHTENING CONVERSATIONS
AT THE MOUNT LAVINIA HOTEL



The other day in Colombo, living a Travelife with a group of our dear readers and friends, my friend Charming Lady and I sat together at dinner at the Mount Lavinia Hotel and discussed the situation of her unrequited love for Mr. (Multi) Millionaire.



Although there was always hope that her feelings would eventually be returned – nothing is a 100% impossibility, after all – she had grown quite philosophical about her non-relationship with Mr. (Multi) Millionaire.

She said to me: “You can hope the person will change, but you can’t really hope to change the person. It’s just a matter of changing your attitude towards the situation.”

Scroll down to read more...



A TRAGEDY IN THE MAKING

I could feel the start of another mini-drama coming on, especially as it's been an emotional few days for Charming Lady.

It must’ve been quite tragic for her, after all, to be in beautiful and romantic Sri Lanka -- think about the majesty of all that nature, and our lovely hotels -- with Mr. (Multi) Millionaire, the subject of her affection; and then to have him playing games on his phones, pretending not to listen, while she ranted and raved about all sorts of things.

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We flew Thai Airways
to Sri Lanka via Bangkok.
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YOU NAME IT.
SHE COVERED IT.

What was she raving about from the top of Sigiriya rock and on the bus all the way to Colombo, you might be wondering.

Well, she covered a very wide genre of topics including the importance of having class, branded antibiotics, wrong email addresses, and the general insensitivity of emotionally unavailable men.

You know. The usual stuff. But see how wide the range of topics was?



MIND GAMES OVER NON-GAMES.
ANYTIME.

She would’ve much preferred even that he played games with her instead. 

I understand what she's feeling. At least mind games are some form of communication, after all. It's better than having him sitting so near and yet so quietly, completely focused on the games on his phone whenever topics like emotions and attraction came up.

It's like he's there, but then again he's not.



But towards the end of the trip, it seems she’d come to terms with not having a (multi) millionaire in her life. Or at least not having this particularly millionaire.

LOSING TO ANOTHER

She said, with an air of tranquility and calm happiness that totally suited her, in my opinion: “I believe in moving on. I gave it my best shot. But it seems I’m going to lose him to that other girl."



Then she added: "That’s life. It’s time to move on. People shouldn’t have to work so hard for someone to be with them.

My thoughts exactly.

So that’s when I told her something I tell a lot of other women friends of mine who pine away for guys who just can’t seem to take things to the next level.

I hate to call it “advice,” but let me just share what I said to her anyway, over the most delicious crab curry.

THE ART OF MIRRORING.
OR MAYBE IT'S BETTER CALLED MAGNIFYING.



I said to her: “If a guy doesn’t want to be with you, then you shouldn’t want to be with him about 10 times more. Life’s too short to be playing mind games and to be wasting effort on people who can’t make up their minds about you." 




I added: "Call it mirroring, if you must, but you definitely don't want to be with someone who doesn't seem to want to be with you.”

On second thought. Doing something 10x more than the other person shouldn't probably be called "mirroring."

Magnifying is perhaps a better word.

SWEETNESS VS. SIGIRIYA ROCK



As for Mr. (Multi) Millionaire, he never budged from his own internal version of Sigiriya Rock. Talk about strength vs. all the sweetness in the world that Charming Lady threw at him on an hour by hour basis.

And Charming Lady is truly sweetness personified so in a way it's quite admirable that he never melted in short-range of her charm attack.

Simply no reaction from the man of the moment. No sweetness, no obvious display of affection whatsoever.

HOPE AND LUNCH ON THE CARDS



But just earlier, as we were all getting our luggage from the carousel at NAIA 1, having just arrived on the Thai Airways flight from Bangkok that had connected with our flight from Colombo, I overheard Charming Lady say to Mr. (Multi) Millionaire: “Let’s have lunch. I’ll text you…”

To this rather pro-active approach from Charming Lady, Mr. (Multi) Millionaire actually mumbled something that sounded like an “okay” to me.

So maybe there is hope after all. Even in a never-ending, and never-endingly eventful Travelife.


PS: This was written with the full consent of Charming Lady. I forgot to ask Mr. (Multi) Millionaire for his permission for this entry, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed he’ll continue being a good sport.


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And here's a photo of some of our readers and friends
on our Travelife to Sri Lanka.



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